Restless

We are not powerless. We are powerful. 

I love that line from In the Heights. Lately, I've been feeling restless. I painted the bathroom. It turned out great. The sudden urge to do so was because I needed something to do with my hands. I needed something to put my energy in. 

I'm in a waiting period with the movie until we find an editor. I should make a meeting on Monday or Tuesday before I leave. I need to stop waiting and ask more questions.

I helped Paula and Max move yesterday. It made me think about when I get to move. I'm packed and ready for Chicago. It's a mini move where everything will be there waiting for me at the condo. Then September seems so far away for New York.

New York. The place that dares me to dream. I want so much, and I also wonder why I can't be content and still with what I already have because that's already plenty.

Last night, I dreamt I was in a building that collapsed. Maybe I inserted myself into the recent Florida condo collapse news. Regardless of why I dreamt it, it was a scary dream. Not scary in the horror movie sense. I also had one of those dreams this week. There was a lady at a hotel pool, where I introduced myself as Emily. Later, in the hotel room, there were yellow stickers on the mirror that spelled out Emily. Meaning, someone had snuck into the hotel room to taunt me. The rest of that dream was spent looking in the hotel room for a potential lurker. I never found them. Eventually, I told myself I had enough and woke myself up. It's nice when I get to do that. 

I didn't get to wake myself from this condo dream. I wish I could have. There were lots of people in the dream whom I saw before the collapse. And it was ticking time bomb hoping they'd be okay. It's terrifying to worry. You feel powerless.

I'm reluctant to write down dreams like that because of their content. I don't really want to remember them. On the flip side, sometimes the dreams feel well thought out. Can I turn that into a screenplay somewhere? Is my brain working and waiting for me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard)?