I moved in October. I came back for Christmas. Not too much time had passed, but I had COVID and didn't get to do anything.
Lizzy's confirmation was the catalyst for the trip. I made a week of it so I could schedule doctor visits I should have done in December.
Sunday - Easter
Monday - Backstage Broadway CCO
Tuesday - Friday - tour guide for Dan and Sophie in NYC
Friday night - fly to LA
Saturday
- Confirmation
- lunch
- massage
- dinner
Sunday
- Church
- breakfast
- new niece & older nieces
- chill,
- clean a bit for brother because his place was a mess and he was sick
- drive home
Monday
- Home all day, but I did bookkeeping for the last two years
Tuesday
- drive on PCH
- waxing
- doctor appointment (discussion about discontinuing medication -- "AM I DONE YET?", blood drawn for labs)
- lunch
- rollerblade pier to pier
- dinner
- sleepover
Wednesday
- drive on 101
- MRI (technician was great, I thanked her. She said I did all the hard work. Staying still for an MRI is hard work? Focusing on anything but being inside a giant magnet is work I suppose.)
- get gas
- dentist
- oil change
- hair
- old office
- happy hour at office
- happy hour at bar
- dinner
- drive home
- facetime tea
Thursday
- clean garage (all day)
- laundry
- bowling with Jazz
- tv with mom
Upcoming to do's
- Pack for SD
- Accounting for client
- Dodger Game
- Sleepover
- Visit baby
- San Diego Day
- Organize closet
- Pack
My old life is so familiar and easy in that sense. I'm a well oiled machine. I'm the Energizer bunny, going and going, until the battery dies. I don't run on Energizer batteries. My battery is tired.
This morning I reflected on all that's happened. It was weird looking at pictures and TikTok drafts and seeing myself wear the same dress. I did so much in one day. I'm grateful I got to see so many people, but hot damn it's a lot.
I thrive in big group settings. It's familiar and tempting to go back. But I don't want to be comfortable. I wanted more. I'm reminding myself I wanted more. Plus, we all focused on the good during our catch up. New York sounds so cool, they said.
It is cool. LA is hard. If I'm being honest, I thought that I could run away to NY and not have to deal with this cancer stuff. I know going to the doctor and taking care of yourself is part of being an adult. I've just been adulting for so long, it feels like. I don't know how to express how heavy it feels to HAVE to do all of this.
My MRI is in the clear. That's great news. I don't have any cavities, also wonderful. I looked over my labs, and the numbers look good. The doctor hasn't interpreted it for me yet. But I still don't know what's going on. Do I have to know?
This is just a moment in time. This will be the last overhaul of appointments. Once I handle my insurance and switch to NY, I won't have to cram my days.
On the positive note, it's nice to be missed. I'm getting the good-byes I never got because of the pandemic. But it's nice that they're not goodbyes.
